Where I'm at right now.

I guess at this stage of my journey I should sort of state where I am at with my weight and my self and where I would like to be. I am aiming to be really open and honest with this blog, so here it goes.

I am going to regularly log my weight and measurements as well as exercise and as many details about my diet and nutritional learnings as possible.

Weight: 89.7kg

BMI: 27.3 (so I am just in side the "overweight" category - 25-29)

Bust Measurement: 102cm

Waist Measurement: 87cm

Hip Measurement: 117cm

Upper Arm: 33cm

Upper Thigh: 68cm

Mood: Is easy aggravated or upset, quick to get frustrated, take this very personally. So basically very emotional and over irrational. With a lot of regret shortly after.

And now for my first goal:

18th October 2010: Not expecting a lot of weight loss but at this point I leave for Bali and I also start my Nutritional Medicine course (very exciting!!) so I want to be ready mentally to make dramatic change in my lifestyle - all of which I hope to share here.

What I am going to do: Begin my new exercise regime, closely examine my diet and identify areas of improvement. 3 alcohol free days per week. And to work on letting go of things that are beyond my control through regular meditation - Bali will be perfect for this! Could the timing be any better?

 Wish me luck!

A Little Musing : Battle the bulge

I just went out for a walk in my lunch break because it's such a beautiful day. And I noticed all the people out and about running, power-walking, strolling. Some people are just natural athletes, and I always wish that I was genetically adept at running. A little thought flashed through my mind, "I will probably always have to battle with my weight".

But then another thought came over me, maybe it is terms like "Battle the bulge" that make it so hard to loose weight. Shouldn't it be a joy to look after our bodies and nuture them with good food and exercise?

So from here on in, I will never refer to my self-improvement journey as "a battle" because its not.

Quinoa & Eggplant make me so happy!

This is one of my favourite recipes by Janella Purcell. I saw it on "Good Chef Bad Chef" and I have made it quite a few times now because it is amazingly comforting and satisfying.

Sorry I will definitely have to work on my food photography!

Chinese Eggplant and Silken Tofu

Serves 4

Ingredients

4 tbls olive oil
8 long asian eggplants
2 tbls olive oil
1 large leek, halved and cleaned
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 green chilli, chopped
1 tbls ginger, finely sliced
1 tbls coriander stems, chopped finely
3-4 sachets dashi
1 tsp sesame oil
2 tsp tamari
2 pkt silken tofu, cut into large squares
8 shitake mushrooms
2 tbls coriander leaves
4 spring onions, sliced on the diagonal

Method
Slice eggplants into wedges of approximately 4cm. Lightly fry in the olive oil until starting to brown all over - you can also bake or grill them. Remove from pan and place on a paper towel.

Slice leek into half moons and place in same pan with a bit more oil. Cook over medium heat, adding garlic, chilli, ginger and coriander stems and cook for a further 1 minute.

Add the eggplants, fill with water until it covers the eggplant plus about an inch more. Add dashi stock, sesame oil and tamari to the pan.  Let simmer until eggplants are soft and tender, about 15 minutes.  Now gently add the tofu to the pans be gentle with silken tofu a sit easily falls apart.

Garnish with spring onions and coriander leaves. Definitely serve with quinoa or organic brown rice.

Inversion of a new leaf

Along my journey I am hoping to not just work on my nutrition and body but also my mind.

I recently went to my first satsang and it was really amazing. I realised that I was out of my comfort zone because I went by myself and I really had no idea what I was attending. Is this a cult? Is it going to be too religious? Is this going to change my life?

I was met at the door by a woman who showed me around and was so profoundly spiritual and also very eccentric and made no apologies for who she was. I felt incredibly inward and self aware.

The first part of the ceremony is chanting Hindi to live music. At first I was totally bamboozeled and self conscious trying to keep up with the exotic melody whilst trying to decipher the language. Eventually I just felt myself give way to the feeling rather than trying to be correct and it was truly beautiful and I felt so much more energetic.

Then the host spoke for a while which was inspirational and all I could do was sit there with a goofy smile. Until he said "now we need to get into groups of three and discuss how successful and unsuccessful our meditation practice has been this week".

I felt my whole body seize up and the warm glow I had been experiencing disappeared instantly. It was at this point in time I realised that my defence mechanism (you know, fight or flight) is very definitely FLIGHT. RUN AWAY! But I didn't. I look around like a lost lamb until I spotted the lady who I met at the door and she ushered me over.

I listened to the people telling their stories of why they were here. Loss, divorce, depression. And they turned to me and all I could say was "I'm here to find me".

And I do think I uncovered a little part of myself that night that I have been denying.

In the next few days I went to yoga and my teacher said, "Well its definitely Spring, I think I'm going to shake things up a bit - remove some cobwebs." She began to just give us various difficult poses always saying, "Don't worry if you can't do it, just try." Followed often by "And smile!"

Towards the end of the class she said, "Let's try some inversions." I felt that same tightening of my chest. A flush into the cheeks. RUN! I can't do handstands. I'm too fat. I'm not strong enough. What if I fall over? What I hurt myself?

Recognizing this feeling from the other night at satsang. I quickly put out the fire. No, in the spirit of my recent self-discovery and also in the spirit of this yoga class, I decided to just have fun. It didn't matter if I got all the way over. It didn't matter if I fell over. At least I had tried to do handstand for the first time in 15-odd years.

And that's what I did. Little bunny hops, little jumps and I laughed the whole time.

Happiness is in your hands, no one or anything else is responsible for your happiness.
I need to keep reminding myself of that everyday and at least now I'm very aware of that "Flight" feeling and I am beginning to work out ways to help me work around it.

The first post.

So this is my first post in this blog. I'll start out by saying I have had an interesting 12 months. Last year I had a bit of a breakdown thinking that my life was stagnating and nothing I was doing seemed to be going anywhere. This year I have become engaged, got a new job, moved into a new house and now it seems I'm going into the biggest shift possible. 

A whole new career.

I am a Graphic Designer. I kind of fell into this career. I never imagined that I would be doing this and as result I have felt that for the last 6 years I was just being swept through life by a fast current - with no control over anything.

In the last few months I have come to the conclusion that maybe this isn't the right path for me. Sitting in front of a computer from 8-9 hours everyday leaves me feeling restless, frustrated and anxious.

I have always had a love/hate relationship with food. I have always been "plump" and predisposed to being overweight. In the last couple of years I was diagnosed with the initial signs of Hashimoto's disorder - or under active thyroidism. I have been taking Thyroxin to supplement and support but I know that there has to be a more wholistic way to give it a helping hand.

My mother also has Hashimoto's but since having breast cancer in 1999 it completely destroyed itself and now she doesn't have a functioning thyroid at all. She is an inspiration and has more energy than anyone I know! So I know that I can also overcome this problem and hopefully have a happy, healthy thyroid for the rest of my life.

Another element that has sparked this life change is that when I reflect back on my week at work, what have I achieved during the week? I've got artwork for beer cartons in on deadline... I've made a few posters.... I often wonder how will I feel when I look back on my life... who have I helped? What have I done to make a difference. 

Now, I'm not wanting or meaning to bag out the design industry here. It can be an amazing career full of inspiration and happiness. I have simply had a serious heart to heart with myself over the last few months and decided its simply not satisfying for me.

So I have made the leap and enrolled in an Advanced Diploma of Nutritional Medicine. I start doing the course via Distance Learning on October 18. And in this blog I hope to use myself as a bit of a test subject to effectively learn about nutrition and change my life. So I hope anyone that reads this finds some help or healthy inspiration.